What do women want…in 2018

To caveat, I’m not talking about what women want from their jobs, from their bodies or from their overall self progression…maybe next time. This post is about what women want from men specifically in this day and age.

So who remembers the film? Handsome Mel Gibson fighting for the affection of gorgeous Helen Hunt, played out to the perfect soundtrack of Frank Sinatra. I loved ‘What Women Want’ when it came out. Mel’s temporary ‘superpower’ was that he could read women’s minds, he went from being perceived as an overbearing macho sleaze, to a sweet, sensitive heart-throb, with just the right level of seductive prowess. He was the bad boy you couldn’t help falling for in the end….exactly the same way Helen Hunt does in the movie.

But what does the 2018 woman REALLY want in a man, and is she being totally honest about it?


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What’s it like dating an identical twin? 

One of the things I heard a lot when me and my BF got together was – “Oooh a twin, what’s that like? Do you fancy his brother then?”

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How to deal with regret

It’s a belief held by many that to be human is to make errors, to fall, stumble and make a total arse of yourself from time to time. So why does it feel so uncomfortable to look back on those times?

Some of the most interesting people I know are interesting because of their mistakes, because they showed their weaknesses, stripped back the layers and let me see that other side of them.


You know when someone really trusts you when they can tell you their biggest regrets, when they can lay themselves bare and know that you’ll still respect them for it.

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How unkind is it to ‘unfriend’ after all?

This week happens to be the week in which two interesting ‘National Days’ fall quite closely together, but their design couldn’t be more different…or so it may seem.

Monday was ‘National Kindness Day’, and Thursday is National ‘Unfriend’ Day – both of which focus on the people around us. When this first popped up in my weekly work email of events, it made me smile at how ironic this crossover was. Then I got to thinking about it and actually, I wondered whether both could be trying to get to the same kind of outcome…a happier individual and a happier environment to live in.

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Guest post: ‘A pain in the arse’ by Becci Allen

My good friend Becci is probably one of the strongest people I know, outwardly she’s always been super confident, kick ass and totally up for anything. I love her because she’s brilliantly funny, quick witted and doesn’t live life in the slow lane.

becci allen.jpg

But until recently I didn’t realise the daily struggle she’s experiencing in dealing with the constant pain of an ongoing back injury. Long term pain is something a lot of people live with, but the toll it takes on your body and your mind is a real concern and speaking to her recently I felt her story should be shared. I’m sure she’s not alone!

Becci is the first guest writer for Inside the Oyster, and I hope to incorporate many more experiences, stories and insights from my lovely pool of talented and amazing friends and family.

This is her story…in her own words

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Keeping our brains healthy

It’s World Mental Health Day, which inspired me to write about something I feel quite passionate about…our complex noggins!

It really is a sign of the times that today in my office we all wore different hats (cat ears, crowns, shark heads and beanies), to raise money and show support for this day and the importance of good mental well-being. A few years ago most companies would only celebrate Red Nose Day, but now – finally – mental health is making it into the norm, making it into the mainstream. All be it slowly!

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Fear of the unknown

Despite the many similarities between men and women, and the equal strengths and qualities of both sexes – it would seem that science is highlighting one challenge us girls have yet to overcome…anxiety. Studies show that women are naturally disposed to panic and worry, more so than our male counterparts (on the whole at least). But why?

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When life doesn’t care if ‘it’s not fair’

When I was little and my brother would get away with murder, or my school mates would pick fun at me and bully me, I’d come home and proclaim how unfair and unjust the world was through tear-stained cheeks. Usually all was quickly forgotten after a cuddle and a bit of dinner, and as only a child’s mind can I soon moved on to bigger and better things, without dwelling on the ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ that come with later years.

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A letter to myself…

If it’s normal for most teenagers and 20 somethings to constantly pick themselves apart and worry about how they look, behave, and whether the direction they’re heading in is the right one…then I’ve had a very normal experience of growing up.

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What is ‘Mindfulness’ and why should you care?

Firstly…a simple definition:

“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non judgmentally.” Jon Kabat-Zinn, famous teacher of mindfulness meditation at the University of Massachusetts

Mindfulness wasn’t something I’d ever considered I needed to know about until I was diagnosed with UC last year. My doctor suggested that a lot of the problems I was experiencing within my body, were likely to have been induced by stress and anxiety.

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