How to deal with regret

It’s a belief held by many that to be human is to make errors, to fall, stumble and make a total arse of yourself from time to time. So why does it feel so uncomfortable to look back on those times?

Some of the most interesting people I know are interesting because of their mistakes, because they showed their weaknesses, stripped back the layers and let me see that other side of them.

darkside

You know when someone really trusts you when they can tell you their biggest regrets, when they can lay themselves bare and know that you’ll still respect them for it.

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UC and Tequila Slammers

For me and I expect for most people with UC, each morning brings a series of firsts and the nervousness that comes with them.

Let me explain:

  1. The first poo or loo visit – Will it hurt? Will there be blood?
  2. The first few hours of the morning – Will there be cramps? Or bloating? Or urgency?
  3. The first meals of the day – Will there be cramps? Pain or sickness and anxiety?

Not the ‘leap out of bed and sing to the birds through the window’ style of morning which I’m sure we’d all love, but none the less – a day without any of those signals is as good as any.

singing to birds.gif

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Fear of the unknown

Despite the many similarities between men and women, and the equal strengths and qualities of both sexes – it would seem that science is highlighting one challenge us girls have yet to overcome…anxiety. Studies show that women are naturally disposed to panic and worry, more so than our male counterparts (on the whole at least). But why?

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When life doesn’t care if ‘it’s not fair’

When I was little and my brother would get away with murder, or my school mates would pick fun at me and bully me, I’d come home and proclaim how unfair and unjust the world was through tear-stained cheeks. Usually all was quickly forgotten after a cuddle and a bit of dinner, and as only a child’s mind can I soon moved on to bigger and better things, without dwelling on the ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’ that come with later years.

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A letter to myself…

If it’s normal for most teenagers and 20 somethings to constantly pick themselves apart and worry about how they look, behave, and whether the direction they’re heading in is the right one…then I’ve had a very normal experience of growing up.

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Farting in front of the in-laws, parp with pride!

Farting in public isn’t easy, there’s the ever-present dilemma of ‘will it stink?’ ‘Will everyone know it was me?’, and you can never be sure if it’s going to slip silently into the ether, or announce its arrival with a huge lingering trump.

Most people can come home, slip into those slacks and trump till their heart’s content, but when you’re currently living with your in-laws, and also suffer from an IBD which makes your bowels doubly as active – that becomes a whole new challenge.

fart face gif.gif

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