Living with regret

It’s a belief held by many that to be human is to make errors, to fall, stumble and make a total arse of yourself from time to time. So why does it feel so uncomfortable to look back on those times?

Some of the most interesting people I know are interesting because of their mistakes, because they showed their weaknesses, stripped back the layers and let me see that other side of them.

darkside

You know when someone really trusts you when they can tell you their biggest regrets, when they can lay themselves bare and know that you’ll still respect them for it.

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How unkind is it to ‘unfriend’ after all?

This week happens to be the week in which two interesting ‘National Days’ fall quite closely together, but their design couldn’t be more different…or so it may seem.

Monday was ‘National Kindness Day’, and Thursday is National ‘Unfriend’ Day – both of which focus on the people around us. When this first popped up in my weekly work email of events, it made me smile at how ironic this crossover was. Then I got to thinking about it and actually, I wondered whether both could be trying to get to the same kind of outcome…a happier individual and a happier environment to live in.

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Why turning 30 is all about perspective

I recently posted a photo on Instagram about being half way to 30  – I’ve not thought about being half way to anything since I was 17 1/2 and DESPERATE to go clubbing…wishing my days away. This time it’s not the same feeling – but why?

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Guest post: ‘A pain in the arse’ by Becci Allen

My good friend Becci is probably one of the strongest people I know, outwardly she’s always been super confident, kick ass and totally up for anything. I love her because she’s brilliantly funny, quick witted and doesn’t live life in the slow lane.

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But until recently I didn’t realise the daily struggle she’s experiencing in dealing with the constant pain of an ongoing back injury. Long term pain is something a lot of people live with, but the toll it takes on your body and your mind is a real concern and speaking to her recently I felt her story should be shared. I’m sure she’s not alone!

Becci is the first guest writer for Inside the Oyster, and I hope to incorporate many more experiences, stories and insights from my lovely pool of talented and amazing friends and family.

This is her story…in her own words

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UC and Tequila Slammers

For me and I expect for most people with UC, each morning brings a series of firsts and the nervousness that comes with them.

Let me explain:

  1. The first poo or loo visit – Will it hurt? Will there be blood?
  2. The first few hours of the morning – Will there be cramps? Or bloating? Or urgency?
  3. The first meals of the day – Will there be cramps? Pain or sickness and anxiety?

Not the ‘leap out of bed and sing to the birds through the window’ style of morning which I’m sure we’d all love, but none the less – a day without any of those signals is as good as any.

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Mindfulness: there’s an app for that

Generally I believe that achieving mindfulness involves stepping away from your phone, but after a recent recommendation from a friend I downloaded an app called – Insight Timer.

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A letter to myself…

If it’s normal for most teenagers and 20 somethings to constantly pick themselves apart and worry about how they look, behave, and whether the direction they’re heading in is the right one…then I’ve had a very normal experience of growing up.

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Farting in front of the in-laws, parp with pride!

Farting in public isn’t easy, there’s the ever-present dilemma of ‘will it stink?’ ‘Will everyone know it was me?’, and you can never be sure if it’s going to slip silently into the ether, or announce its arrival with a huge lingering trump.

Most people can come home, slip into those slacks and trump till their heart’s content, but when you’re currently living with your in-laws, and also suffer from an IBD which makes your bowels doubly as active – that becomes a whole new challenge.

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Have we lost the ability to holiday?

Once upon a time, if you went on holiday for a fortnight you effectively dropped off the face of the earth as far as friends and family were concerned.

No phones, no social media channels to update..and checking in at the airport genuinely meant checking in. The only sign you’d survived the journey would be a battered postcard, and if your ‘beach bod’ plans didn’t quite come to fruition it didn’t matter because only your loved ones were with you. Am I the only one who thinks these were the golden days of travel?

The first my friends would have heard about any holidays would have been a handful of printed blurry snaps, some fading tan lines and a slighty dodgy braid in my hair.

When did holidaying become less about actually having a holiday, and more about how that holiday looks to everyone else?

I’ve done it myself, posted fairly benign images of toes in the sand, drink in hand and chilling on my beach towel…but even as I’ve done it, a large part of my brain has been asking ‘what was that for? Was it really necessary?’ Am I the only one? Nope….

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What’s Hypno actually like?

If you happen to have seen my earlier post on panic attacks, you’ll know that I mentioned trying Hypnotherapy as a way to get to the root of them and try to break out of the cycle.

I only had a few sessions but found it really helpful for me, so thought it might be useful to share my top tips and how that experience worked for me, as I often get asked what it was like.

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