I recently posted a photo on Instagram about being half way to 30 – I’ve not thought about being half way to anything since I was 17 1/2 and DESPERATE to go clubbing…wishing my days away. This time it’s not the same feeling – but why?
For me and I expect for most people with UC, each morning brings a series of firsts and the nervousness that comes with them.
Let me explain:
- The first poo or loo visit – Will it hurt? Will there be blood?
- The first few hours of the morning – Will there be cramps? Or bloating? Or urgency?
- The first meals of the day – Will there be cramps? Pain or sickness and anxiety?
Not the ‘leap out of bed and sing to the birds through the window’ style of morning which I’m sure we’d all love, but none the less – a day without any of those signals is as good as any.
Despite the many similarities between men and women, and the equal strengths and qualities of both sexes – it would seem that science is highlighting one challenge us girls have yet to overcome…anxiety. Studies show that women are naturally disposed to panic and worry, more so than our male counterparts (on the whole at least). But why?
If it’s normal for most teenagers and 20 somethings to constantly pick themselves apart and worry about how they look, behave, and whether the direction they’re heading in is the right one…then I’ve had a very normal experience of growing up.
None of my family were particularly keen on London growing up; busy, noisy and expensive we didn’t really go there much on days out, but that didn’t stop me dreaming about it and the possibilities it might hold for me.
Firstly…a simple definition:
“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non judgmentally.” Jon Kabat-Zinn, famous teacher of mindfulness meditation at the University of Massachusetts
Mindfulness wasn’t something I’d ever considered I needed to know about until I was diagnosed with UC last year. My doctor suggested that a lot of the problems I was experiencing within my body, were likely to have been induced by stress and anxiety.