Not sure when #CoupleGoals became a thing, perhaps around the same time as #SquadGoals? But anytime that particular phrase pops up alongside an image of two young things, I simply edit it in my mind to #lookhowfuckinggreatwethinkwearegoals.
Essentially, someone who captions their photos like this is saying one of two things:
- I think my relationship epitomises the ‘holy grail’ of social media-worthiness and is therefore something you should adore and lust after like a mindless sheep ‘likemelikemelikeme’
- Or…I’ve been studying the staged, glossy, idealistic photos of Pinterest for SOO long that I think I’ve finally cracked this pose in real life…what do you reckon? ‘likemelikemelikeme’
I’m willing to bet that 8 out of 10 people are thinking this….
I’m no relationship expert, but friends do sometimes come to me for advice on what makes men and women tick. Perhaps because I’ve got close mates of both sexes I can see each side of an argument equally. I’m never going to side with the girl just because she’s being a diva, and likewise the boy isn’t always in the right just because he wants to be a ‘lad’ and avoid commitment.
So.. I decided to re-write some #CoupleGoals based on my own view of the world and what I think generates a happier relationship (which will hopefully last longer than the time it takes to refresh your fb feed).
- Just because it’s on social media doesn’t make it perfect. You can smooth over the lumps and bumps to make a picture look good on Instagram – but that doesn’t mean you can do the same in real life. Work on how it feels, not how it looks!
- Keep some moments personal to you – if I take some smoochy pics I keep them between me and the fella in a private folder…why does my cousin or my ex colleague need to see it? The answer is they don’t! Putting them out there (especially if your other half isn’t keen to share) will probably just make them question who you’re trying to prove something to.
- Put down the phones at least 30 mins before bed – you won’t be starring into each other’s eyes while you’re both glued to a shiny screen. Charge up the passion…and leave the phones on charge
- Don’t play the blame game – if you see those stylised couples shots being posted on your feed – don’t wave the phone under the nose of your partner and moan that your relationship isn’t like that. NOBODY’S IS! Despite how it might look, most of what you see is posted from insecurity. If your date nights, flowers, choccies and cards aren’t on social media – that’s a VERY good indication that your relationship is based on what you mean to each other – not to the world
- Check your motivation – if you’re about to post something which shines a light on your relationship for whatever reason, just think about why you’re doing it. Is it for likes or for love? The two can be easily confused.
If I ever feel like my relationship isn’t perfect (which it isn’t) and that maybe that’s a bad thing and maybe I should ‘up my game’ and post more about what my fella means to me. I stop, look at him and remember I didn’t fall in love with the 2D version of him that exists on his FB profile, I fell for the guy I met before any of that existed. The guy who swept me off my feet during my first week of uni, tucked me into bed and brought me marmite on toast in the morning even though it made him gag. I fell in love with someone who hates selfies, hates arrogance and who quietly gets on with life without batting an eyelid at what anyone else is doing – and fundamentally that’s exactly WHY I love him.